Life in Mordor

Those of you who read the introductory piece I did a couple of months back when I first started out here, know that I am currently a college student.  I had a dream of becoming a teacher; by a crazy chain of events I wound up studying accounting.

A few weeks back somebody at church asked me what I was doing.  I said I was studying accounting.  He then said, “So you feel that the Lord is leading you to study accounting?”

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

My reaction to this was interesting.  At first I wanted to punch this guy in the face.  (I wisely restrained myself; punching someone in the face at a church meeting is not a good thing to do.)  Because it frustrates me to no end that evangelicals feel they have to justify everything they do in terms of “The Lord led me to do this.”  I can’t even get out of bed and put my clothes on without having to justify myself by saying “I felt the Lord leading me to get out of bed and put my clothes on today”!!!!!

I guess that perhaps in an ultimate, cosmic sense I could say that God is leading me to study accounting.  After all, I have bills that need to be paid, and accounting will certainly generate enough revenue to pay the bills.  I am reasonably good with numbers, and able to keep track of what goes where on all the various and sundry financial statements.  So it makes sense that I would pursue a career in accounting; I have gifts in that area and I would do well to use those gifts to generate a living in a way that honors God.

So why do I say all this?

There has been a good little discussion over at internetmonk.com this week about hearing from God.  It started with this post from Jeff Dunn, and it continues with this response to a comment on the first post.  There may still be more to come.

Where do I come down on all of this?

On the one hand, phrases such as “I heard from God…” or “The Lord told me to…” or “I feel the Lord leading me to…” are WAY overused in evangelical Protestant-dom.  Frequently they are used to claim divine justification when no divine justification is necessary.  Can’t I get in my car and drive to school today without having to feel that God led me to get in my car and drive to school?  No, we have to have divine justification and divine sanction for everything we do.  Because when we do, we can feel superior because we are truly surrendered to God and we know that God will bless that.  It is not enough to simply follow God; we must go all out to show ourselves and the world how much we are following God.

And as if that isn’t bad enough, these phrases are also frequently used to say that God has said something which he, in all probability, has really not said.  If you have a good feeling about something, that’s more than enough to be able to say that the Lord is leading you.  Never mind that the thing you claim God is leading you to do is something which God, in all probability, would never lead anyone to do.

And yet…

There are some people running around out there who really do hear from God.  People who have a unique vision and a unique calling to wrap their lives around, who have the sense of having received something special directly from God and know that God has said something unique directly to them–and are doing what they believe they have heard and received from God.

I resonate with the commenter at internetmonk.com who said:

I wish I knew God like you do….Could hear His voice. I feel like an Israelite, sitting in the camp, waiting for the truly spiritual to go up the mountain, meet with God, then come back and tell me about Him.

But I want to go…I want to hear Him speak to me. And I have no idea how.

I resonate with this because it has been my experience.  In the absence of direct words from God, my modus operandi has been, in the words of St. Augustine, “Love God, then do as you please.”  I know things that I am good at, and I order my life around those things.  If I have a major life decision to make, or any other decision for that matter, I simply weigh the alternatives based on what makes the most sense for me in light of who I am, what I am good at, and what I want in life, and then choose the alternative which is most appropriate for me.  It is a sensible way to go, and I trust that in the end God will be honored by the life I have led in this fashion.

But at the same time, I wish I could hear from God.  I would love to know that I have some unique vision or calling from God, something inside of me that I could know is directly from God and uniquely for me.

So where has everybody gone?  It seems that Life in Mordor has evolved into my own personal blog these days.  Apparently things get kind of slow around here during the summer months.  But hey, I can live with that.  It’s just that I’m starting to get a little lonely over here.

Anyway, as long as we’re looking at Ted Haggard and Heather Mercer, let me bring up the question:  Is it right to desire honor for yourself or to pursue it?

During the course of Jesus’ time on earth, he told a number of parables which came down to the idea of “Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”  (Luke 18:14, Matthew 23:12, Luke 14:11)

First of all, honor is a good thing to seek after.  The fact that you desire such things as honor, affirmation, and validation does not mean that you are selfish; it means that you are human.  However, as we look at what Jesus has to say, we see that there is a right way and a wrong way to pursue honor.

The wrong way is to actively attempt to seek honor for yourself.  Honor is not something that you take hold of yourself; it is something which is bestowed upon you.  There is no one in American society who is hated more than the person who thinks more of himself or herself than he/she ought to, and there is nothing which we Americans love more than to see such a person receive his/her comeuppance.  Steve Spurrier, Nick Saban, and Lane Kiffin are prime examples of this.

So what is the right way to pursue honor?  Jesus lets on to this in Luke 14:8-11:

When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited.  If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, “Give this man your seat.”  Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place.  But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, “Friend, move up to a better place.”  Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests.  For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

In other words, don’t try to actively take hold of honor for yourself.  In the end, you will wind up with nothing but abject humiliation.  If anything, seek to make yourself lower than others, and eventually honor will be bestowed upon you.

Ted Haggard is starting a new church.

The evangelical blogosphere has been thoroughly ablaze with this story for the last week, so I am sure that most of you are probably quite familiar with it.  But I love to hear myself talk, or the print/online equivalent thereof.  Besides, there may actually be some of you who don’t know who Ted Haggard is or what the story is about his new church.  So here we go.

Ted Haggard was the pastor of New Life, a very large church out in Colorado Springs, and a very influential conservative political activist (a la Pat Robertson, James Dobson, Jerry Falwell)…until a nice juicy scandal involving drug use, homosexual sex, and a massage therapist forced him to resign back in fall 2006.

Ted Haggard laid low for a couple of years, but now he is right back in the old neighborhood.  His new church, called St. James, is currently meeting in his home (which, I feel compelled to note, is less than a mile down the road from his old church).

There are several things about this story which are, shall we say, less than fully on the up-and-up.  Pastoral ethics issues (starting a new church less than a mile down the road from your old church is a HUGE pastoral ethics no-no).  Inconsistencies in his public statements concerning what St. James is and what his role in the leadership of St. James would be.  Accountability and pastoral oversight:  Completely and totally lacking in this case.  Connection with the larger body of Christ and the broader, more ancient traditions of the Christian faith:  Also completely and totally lacking in this case.  I have written about these issues over at my blog.  “Chaplain Mike” Mercer has also done an excellent job of articulating these issues over at internetmonk.com. Continue Reading »